I'm sorry, but I just can't.

I try to help people in need. Giving tzedakah, charity, or lending a helping hand is very important to me. However, I received a request yesterday, that I just can't accommodate. Let me explain the sad case, and then I will explain why I can't help.

This poor woman was recently widowed. Since then she has been subjected to humiliation, abuse, and physical and psychological torture. She has lost confidence in herself and those around her. She and her daughter are homeless and stateless. She fears the loss of what little money she has left, thus making her totally dependent on her persecutors. She begs me to help her find a place of shelter where she can support her husband's legacy. But she does ask if I can't help, to please keep her request secret.

Of course that I recognized the name of the person asking for my assistance was a surprise to me. Normally, the names and circumstances of someone making this type of request are completely foreign. You see, this letter came from Mrs. Suha Arafat and of course it isn't billions that everyone says she wants to rescue, but only $18 million, and she is quite sure that I want to help her for a "small remuneration". That she writes from an email address in the Netherlands shouldn't bother me a bit. Or that the address where I should write is at familymailbox.com. I am tempted to open a new hotmail account just to see how far I can take this, but considering my family history.....

So, I am really sorry Suha, but I just can't help.

Am I a Grinch?

I never thought of myself as one before, but somehow, this year I am feeling particularly "Grinch-like". My Grinchness results from the recent decorating activity in my company's front lobby. I have had a particularly strong reaction to these decorations. The question is, am I a grinch, or is the degree of decoration in very poor taste.

Let's start with some history. Although I am Jewish, I have never objected to pdc's (Public Displays of Christmas). I like the lights, and the decorations, etc., as long as it isn't rubbing my nose in it. I have always had a preference for "understated elegance". My jewelry tends to go that way, as does my clothing. I have never been very big on excessive fluff. Some of the most elegant Christmas displays I have ever seen have been in historic or classic homes, where greenery decorated with large red bows traces the bannister and the mantle, the tree is heavy with ornaments but lighter on lights, and candles shine in every window. If you are going to light the outside of your house, pay attention to what the display looks like. I am not impressed by sagging straight lines, or masses of blinking multi-colored lights, and I am beginning to really dislike holiday blowup figures of santa and reindeer. What's next? A blow up creche? On that topic, one of the loveliest displays I ever saw was a creche where each day the magii and their cames drew closer and closer, until finally on Christmas the baby was introduced, and the full scene was complete.

Now, back to my office. The decoration is over the top. Personally, it does not look professional to me. Is this really what we want our clients to see when they walk in the door? What if the client is Jewish or Muslim, and less open minded than I? If it were my front office I would remove the paint on the doors, and the snowflake cut outs from the walls. I would move the display on the ledge to the floor and relegate it to a corner. One wreath in the small lobby space is sufficient, not three. The tree is fine, the pointsettas are fine, but the rest.....

Oh, and adding a menorah does not automatically make any seasonal display right. I have no problem if my company wants to put a menorah in the lobby for the next 9 days, but it is absolutely not necessary, and all my menorah's will be in use at home during that time, as ritual objects.

PS If this does sound like a grinch, then so be it -- I am going to be grinchy until January when this all goes away for another year....