"How are you doing today?"

One of the blogs that I read regularly, http://asimplejew.blogspot.com/, talked about responding "Not bad" to the question "How are you doing?" He commented that the response embraced "negative feelings," and decided to respond with "Very Good," no matter what. I would argue that "Not bad" may be an achievement under some circumstances.

My Dad died 8 years ago last month. Although he had been sick for a year, in and out of remission, and despite the time I had to prepare myself, I was still devastated. My Dad had always been a role model. Not necessarily a perfect one, but as I grew older I found that I was more and more like my Dad. Needing change to stay excited. He changed careers at least three times in his life, I am on number 3 (that is if you count being a stay at home mom as a career choice.) He had a variety of hobbies in his life and attacked them with gusto. So have I. I am currently boring everyone who comes near me with stories about the quilts I am currently making. The hobby may stick, or three years from now it may have been replaced with something else.

So, back to the point of the blog. When my Dad died, I walked around in a fog for months. I was happy when I felt I could answer "Not bad" when I was asked how I was doing. That was an accomplishment. I still remember the feeling when I changed that to "great". Today, I have a variety of answers, depending on my moods (read the blog on depression.) "Not bad" is one of the answers, "awake" is another. But if I tell you I am great or fine, or doing well, then you know it's true. "Not bad" may be self-perpetuating negative thinking, but some days it is entirely accurate.