Shaking hands
Shaking hands is a part of American and Canadian culture. It is not as ingrained over the rest of the world, but it is certainly a well known and accepted custom. Recently I went looking for the origins of the custom, and while there was no certainty, the probability was that shaking hands originate between two men to show that they were not carrying weapons. Later it became the seal on a contract. But what happens if you don't or rather won't shake hands with someone?
At social political events, shaking hands is almost required. So what happens when a religious leader is invited to such an occasion, in particular a religious leader who won't shake hands with a member of the opposite sex? What should that religious leader do in such a situation? What should he do if he is introduced to a very senior political figure who happens to be a woman? When faced with an outstretched hand, should the religious man place his hands behind his back?
Despite what some people think, we live in the real world. I understand and do my best to respect others beliefs. I would never expect the religious leader to shake my hand. But when NOT shaking hands with a woman is equivalent to not shaking hands with a personal representative of the Queen of England, or the President of the United States, then I believe the religious leader should do a little more thinking before he acts.
This is not a hypothetical example, the event happened. The snubbed woman felt as if she had been slapped. She didn't understand, until later, what was going on, and even after an explanation, she still believes that her office was "dissed". (Not her exact words, but a succinct representation of her feelings.) She has never felt strong support for this particular religion, and the acts of the religious leader just confirmed her opinions. Is this what the religious leader wanted or intended? Certainly not, but it is what happened.
There is enough religious intolerance in this world without encouraging more. I say the religious leader was in the wrong.
posted by Erica @ 7:35 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Sorry, but the woman involved needs to be more tolerant of the other's religious views. Whoever it was wasn't dissing her office, but her gender. If she wants to fell upset about that. . .
However, in a political world, that religious leader has a responsibility to let others know beforehand, so they don't add to their predjudicies.
I have had this challenge for years and I have only had one negative reaction. I always, with a big smile on my face, in a very friendly, warm, matter-of-fact way say,that "I am sorry I don't shake hands with women." Most times the women say "Oh I'm sorry I didn't know". I then immediately respond "That's alright it makes for a better relationship with my wife." Almost always I get a smile or a relieved look. One time one lady elbowed her male partner in the ribs and said "Hey Bobby, you should take lessons." This has worked with women of all creeds, colours, races and religions, all over the world.
One time it didn't work. The lady got a bit upset and I couldn't figure it out. So being an American I asked her straight out if she was Jewish (and not religious) (I being Jewish and religious). She answered "yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" I then smiled and went on to something else. Fighting anti-semitism amonst irreligious Jews is not what I wanted to get into.
Suffice it to say, that every non-Jewish lady I have ever encountered, anywhere, anytime, has never had a problem with it. In fact every single one of the hundreds, if not thousands of women I have dealt with have respected me even more, and felt safer, and that they could trust me, because of it.
It takes a friendly, warm, non-judgemental, understanding, matter-of-fact, I'm-not-compromising-on-eternity-for-this-world-but-at-the-same-time-I-don't-want-to-embarras-you-in-public attitude and approach.
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